http://www.MotivatedMonkey.com

I’ve moved! Have my own website now….. YAY!!! Come join me on my new adventures!

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Also, check out this site for my new travel video blog from the Philippines!

http://www.WhenInManila.com/

4:19am March 14, 2009 Saturday
(mostly written as we wait for help on side of the road)

With Megan Fox carefully and intimately sucking on my toes, I suddenly get shaken by some strong vibrations.

“MmEeGgAaNn!” I screamed while still abruptly being shook. I quickly realized that the hot girl from Transformers was only in my dreams.

“That’s it, we just lost our surfboards from the roof,” were my second thoughts as I awaken from my slumber.

We were on our way to Baler, Aurora, about 6 hours North of Manila. The ride had been amazingly smooth thus far. It was nice to be on roads that felt like they were actually built within the past century. Even better, we started our trip at 1am, so there were no signs of any traffic for miles. It’s the complete opposite of the usual unpaved roads and never-ending traffic in Manila. With our boards neatly stowed on top of our SUV flip flops on our toes and sun block in our bags, this was supposed to be the start of a very relaxing surf trip.

Then BOOMrattlerattlerattleshakeshakeshakerattleandroll!!!!

“WwHhAaTt JjUuSsTt HhAaPpPpEeNnEeDd??” I shakingly ask.

Either someone was knocking heavily and rapidly on our windows, as we drive down 135kms, or something else was going on that requested our immediate attention.

Fortunately, we were able to pull over to the side of the freeway with no problems other than the loud rattling sound and the intense shaking of our car. We head out to see what the problem was and immediately notice our right rear tire, or what’s left of it.

Our tire had completely blown. It was absolutely gone; there was even a grainy rubber trail from the pieces of tire disintegrating as we pulled over.

Now my friends try to use the jack to lift the car but unfortunately, the jack they had was too small and couldn’t lift the SUV high enough for us to change the tire. So I then ask them what the emergency number is so I can call for help. Funny thing is, no one knew the emergency number in the Philippines….

It’s kinda funny. I mean put us in a worse case scenario where things go really bad, everyone else is unconscious, and all you have is your phone in your pocket – Who you gonna call? I’d call the Ghostbusters but I don’t know their number either.

I then start my trial and error for the right number. I dial 911, the emergency number for the US, and get Pizza Hut! Well, I guess in times of dire need, you can’t go wrong with pizza.

A few wrong numbers and I finally get to 117, the actual emergency number for the Philippines.

Help arrived right away. No more than five minutes had passed before we see some flashing lights. The guys that helped us out did everything for us. They changed the tire and re-attached the old one to the back of our SUV. We tried to give them some money for their troubles, the usual practice here, but to our surprise they wouldn’t accept it.

It was just nice to know that no matter how much many may think that the Philippines isn’t moving forward, there will be situations like this that makes me think on a more positive note.

Now here’s the crazy part, the guys said that we’re lucky it was the back tire that blew. Otherwise, our SUV would have lost control and probably rolled over. Especially at the speed we were going, 135kms. For whatever reason, the stars had been aligned our whole lives and that tire was on the rear side of the SUV instead of the front.

Weird isn’t it? How little things have the power to change our lives just like that.

If we did, or ever do, get into a big accident, at least now I know the number for Pizza Hut.

My Favorite F*** My Life statements…

For those of you who haven’t been to the website, it’s the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen! Pretty much it’s like Post Secrets and Twitter, but for crazy stupid things that happen to others that we can all laugh about. Every note starts with “Today,” and ends with “FML.”  HAHA!

Here are my personal favs….

http://www.fmylife.com/

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we’ve been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says “I’m just going to be blunt. It doesn’t look like you. You’re not that pretty.” Everyone nods. FML

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: “love mom.” FML

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type ‘virginia’ into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for ‘virgin boy assholes’. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I’m a young guy. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, “I got your best friend pregnant”. FML

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed “neither” to “nigger.” I didn’t notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I’m 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

Today, I went to McDonald’s for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said “Well, at least you’re trying.” FML

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied “diet coke?” and I corrected him saying, “No, regular coke.” He shook his head and said again, “diet coke.” FML

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I’m 17. FML

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date’s name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled “Tim” in bold letters. FML

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, “Beat ya!” She’s thirteen. FML

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don’t own a diesel car. FML

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, “They’ll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins.” FML
<Photo 1>

“FUCK!!! Just turn off that damn TV!?” I screamed as I repeatedly banged my head against the window, hoping to knock myself unconscious.

GMA is slowly blinding Filipinos, and this time, I’m not talking about the president.

It’s actually the television station that’s slowly deteriorating our vision. Another crazy conspiracy you say? I beg to differ!

I used to have 20/20 vision, but now it seems more like a 20/20/20/20 vision with me seeing doubles all the time. Now let me warn you that you really have to experience what I’ll be talking about to understand me. Otherwise, you’ll just think that the solution is the easiest, silliest, stupidest and most “duh” thing to do. Really, it’s not that simple.

See my visionary impediment began not too long ago, when I decided to take a job at a small advertising agency situated on Emerald Avenue, off Ortigas Boulevard. Living in the Santa Mesa area, I quickly asked my sister what might be the best way to commute to work.

“Oh, take the bus. It’ll be cheap, it has air-con and TV!” she joyfully proclaimed.

Though I’m not much of a TV watcher, other than news and sports, I whole-heartedly rejoiced to the thought of having the good old television while stuck in the rush hour jams. This is one feeling I no longer carry.

Upon riding the bus, you’ll notice one thing, and one thing ONLY; the damn TV! Now, let’s not get started on how TV is polluting the minds of our youth and how it should be limited to the just the “good” channels namely: CNN, BBC, ESPN, Discovery, Animal Planet, National Geographic and the Playboy Channel… ok, ok we can forget the Animal Planet Channel since there are a lot of things on there for mature audiences… Anyway, as I was saying, when you take a ride in these buses, you can’t help but to stare at the TV.

The problem with this is that the damn TV is hooked up to, what I assume, is a crooked, stupid, pupil-degrading antenna! Add on a moving bus to this crooked, stupid, pupil-degrading antenna, and the result will be static like you’ve never seen before. I swear it feels like I’m either being brainwashed or taught to read the Matrix codes so I can help Neo save the world. It’s worse than riding a freakin’ roller coaster drunk while on shrooms!

Of course, you automatically think that the solution is simple. “Look away” you say. Well let me tell you Mr. or Ms. F-ing-Know-it-All, looking away is not really an option! See the bus is funneled where all you can really see is the front. It’s one long, vertical vehicle that has a straight aisle in the middle, directing your vision and attention to the front. Now you try looking out the window and you still see reflections of the staticky-jacked-up TV. Not to mentions, the only sounds you hear are from the damn TV, again drawing your attention to the moving pixels of absolute blur-shit in front of us all! Half the time, I don’t even notice that I’m watching the damn thing again, I just suddenly feel nauseous.

Now why is GMA at fault? Well I assume that they have some sort of contract with the G-Liner busses to turn the TV on to their channel every time. Well, it’s either that or ALL the bus drivers and conductors just love watching damn Slam Dunk cartoons in the morning and Freakin’ Family Feud at nights (among the other annoying programs)! I’m talking about every single bus that I’ve been on, at least twice a day, for the past three months have the TV tuned into the same channel every eye-degrading day!

Now here’s my request for the damn TV executives banking off the advertising money they get from boasting that “we have the fleet of buses that only shows our channel to potential consumers of blah blah blah bs bs bs bs…”

FIX THE DAMN TV! FIX THE DAMN CROOKED, STUPID, PUPIL-DEGRADING ANTENNA! I DON’T CARE IF YOU TRY TO MAKE MONEY OFF THIS BUT FIX IT SO WE DON’T GO BLIND IN THE DAMN PROCESS!

If you don’t, then just let the damn buses be quiet and allow me to rest in my own thoughts as my day begins or ends. You’re blinding people… slowly! If you disagree with me then please, take a ride on these buses for a month or so and let me know how you feel afterwards… I’m willing to bet you’d feel like puking worse than I did that one night when I had seven too many Jager Bombs…

Fuckers!

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
We always hear “the rules” from the female side…
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Blatantly OBVIOUS hints – still do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like
nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to; Expect an
answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape!
Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping…

A calming silence echoes in the air as I take cover behind a concrete road block. I’m still trying to regain my focus when my infantry commander, who had taken the lead, gives the “all clear” signal and orders me to push forward. I check my equipment and brace myself to charge out into the open battlefield. I take a deep breath, look both ways, make a step forward, then VOOM! This tricycle comes out of nowhere and almost levels me!

Ok, so maybe I’m not really in a warzone. Just maybe, my infantry commander is actually my 15 year old sister who crossed the street before I did. And maybe my battlefield is really just the white pinstripes painted on the gravel called the pedestrian lane. Either way, you’d have to agree that crossing the street in the Philippines feels just like opening sequence of “Saving Private Ryan.”

See here in the Philippines, cars don’t stop for people who are crossing the street, they don’t even slow down. In fact, most of them would actually speed up. You’re on your own in the middle of the pedestrian lane here. No one is going to save you but yourself. This is where your true character comes out. This is where you either shine in the headlights  or fade away into roadkill. This is the battlefield that I must cross everyday!

ZOOM, goes the crazy taxi cab right in front of me, as if I didn’t even exist.

I took half a step forward but find myself nine and a half steps back, hiding behind a telephone pole. My sister rolls her eyes in discontent, pretty much calling me a coward through her look. I should walk over and beat the living crap out of her that little piece of….. WHOA!!!

SHOOM, goes the scooter, barely missing my toes.

“I’m on the goddamn sidewalk here! WTF!”

It seems that there’s no safe place to hide against these insurgents. Damn terrorists!

At this point, my back is against the wall all the way at the other end of the sidewalk. Some stray dog licking his balls stops for a moment to stare and mock me.

“Pussy!” said the stray dog. Ok, well he didn’t really say that but I think that’s what he was thinking and would have said if it could talk.

“WELL AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO LICK MY OWN BALLS!” I accidentally scream out loud towards the dog.

The fast moving crowd in front of me stops for a moment and they too stare for a second. My sister, still across the street waiting for me, looks down on the pavement from utter shame and disbelief. “Hurry up!” she yells.

I flick off the stray dog and slowly muster back my composure. I walk towards the outer edge of the sidewalk and wait for a clear path. Five minutes later I’m still waiting. My infantry commander gives me the signal that she’s about to leave me if I don’t move my ass.

I look to my left and see the coast is clear. I take a step forward when… SQWWWWWWEEEEKK! A pedicab (pretty much a tricycle but with a bicycle instead of a motorcycle powering the thing) coming down the wrong way barely breaks in time to avoid hitting me.

“The traffic is going that way! You’re going the wrong way! WTF!” I scream.

Without missing a beat, the pedicab simply goes around me and moves on with life. I too needed to move on, for now.

In the middle of the street, I see a small opening in front of me and make a dash for it but…. WHOOOOSH! A jeepney cuts me off and stops right in front of me. In the middle rush hour traffic, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the road, this jeepney just stops. With the road in front of him clear as the sky, while the traffic behind him honking their horns like all hell was about to break loose, this jeepney just stops to let off his passengers in the middle of all the madness. The passengers get off, cross the road safely and the jeep drives away. I, on the other hand, am stunned and frozen in my tracks. The oncoming traffic honks their horn and I snap out of it, ready to finally make it to the other side.

Then out of nowhere, this young boy comes up to me and starts selling me Sampaguitas (it’s the national flower of the Philippines which locals pick and weave into a necklace). Out the corner of my eye, I notice a huge truck headed straight for us. I scream at the boy and tell him to save himself. In what seemed more like an act of child abuse, rather than heroism, I quickly shove the unwary child out of the way. He actually just gets nudged a bit, gave me a death stare and walked away.

“Go young one, go and live another day! Don’t thank me. I’m just doing what I have to…” I say to the grumpy child.

Yet my trial has yet to end. I still had half the road in front of me while trucks, jeepneys, crazy taxis, tricycles, pedicabs, street vendors and Megatron headed straight for me! I sum up all my videogame experience from old school Atari Frogger all the way to Grand Theft Auto Vice City. I leap, skip, hop, jump, run and roll my way to the other side.

Finally, I make it through the battlefield. Pants a little bit damp, but still with my freedom and dignity!

“Oh, I left something. We need to go back real quick” whispered my sister.

“Why you sonofa….” VHOOOOSH!!!!

Traffic in Manila

Traffic in Manila 2

Tricycles

Pedicabs

Jeepney

Selling Sampaguitas

So there I was, at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport in the Philippines ready to board my flight to Australia. I was eager and excited to see some kangaroos and koalas! Well, actually, that’s an understatement… I was ECSTATIC, THRILLED, EUPHORIC, RAPTUROUS and even SUPERCALIFRAGELISTICEXPEALIDOCIOUSED!

Unfortunately, the lady at the front counter did not share my enthusiasm…

This land-stewardess-clerk-person-thingy, or whatever you call them, was clearly having a bad day. All she had to do was take my passport, check-in my bags and print out my ticket. But nooooooo, she wanted to be Mrs. Frowny Face with me.

Well, I couldn’t blame her, there seemed to be a problem with me and the Australian CIA. See I flew into Australia once before, but took a boat when I departed. Apparently, this procedure messed up the system and according to the computers, I was technically “still in Australia,” so she couldn’t really let me on the plane. Her mundane task quickly turned complicated.

On the other hand, she seemed especially grumpy even before our problems arose. I tried to empathize with her, I imagined myself in her shoes and started to look down my own shirt… but then I snapped out of it and tried even harder to really empathize with her.

I thought about what kind of a day she may be having. Perhaps her dog died, or her grandma just got rushed to the hospital. Maybe her boss was being a prick all day long or that her car just blew a tire on her. Possibly it was that time of the month when all women are rendered “dangerous,” “incapable of rational thoughts,” or “bleeding and miserable so will make sure to make you bleed and miserable as well.” Either way, (like all other men have tried and failed horribly) I did my best to understand her.

Then it hit me! I should try and cheer her up! Well, I was bored out of my mind as well anyway. I’ve been standing there while she tried to figure things out for about 30 minutes now.

With no hesitation or any thought whatsoever, I look her straight in the eye and go….

“So what’s the real problem anyway? Is it because I’m bringing these GUNS!!! (as I flex my manly biceps)”

The split-second after I say those words, I get lost in her eyes. It was as if I could see her very soul, like I could read her very thoughts, if only for a moment…. Here’s what I believe she was thinking…

“YOU ARE SEVERLY RETARDED AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BOARD THIS FLIGHT, OR TO LIVE FOR THAT MATTER YOU FUCKING SHIT-FOR-BRAINS IDIOT!”

“IF I HAD A BASEBALL BAT, I WOULD BEAT YOU SENSELESS RIGHT NOW FUCKTARD!”

“I SHOULD HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR SAYING GUN IN THE AIRPORT YOU PEA-BRAINED, HALF-WIT, DUMBFUCK IMBECILE!”

“I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME SO BAD RIGHT NOW…”

But my beautiful, gentle, sweet land-stewardess-clerk-person-thingy, or whatever you call them said neither. She just looked at me for a second and went on with her work.

We shared a moment, and no one can ever take that away from us…

Living in the Philippines has been like a box of chocolates… Now pardon the “Forest Gump” cliché, but you really never know what you’re gonna get out here. My days start off with a fun little game where I have to guess between electricity or water as the morning’s missing element. I either don’t have water to shower and brush my teeth, or I won’t have electricity to turn on anything that remotely reminds me of the 20^th century. I’ve started to call this game “Fu*k Me!™”.  I got that name from the first words that come out of my mouth when I’m reminded that I’m playing.

Now it isn’t all that bad, I get to do other things at home when these “daily natural occurrences” happen. For example, I still get to brush my teeth by using some chilled drinking water from the fridge; I’m resourceful like that (unless of course we run out of drinking water, then that’s a whole different game called “Fu*k Me in the Desert!™”.) On the other hand, when it’s electricity that’s missing, I simply scream my guts out into my pillow and then do my best to think happy thoughts ‘til I can again bask in the glory of television reruns.

My body has done a great job of adapting to this game as well. Yes, Darwin was right when he talked about evolution. For one thing, my body has evolved to help me deal with the heat. Days without electricity calls for drastic measures. No electricity means, not only no internet porn, but no air conditioning or fans as well. Thus the sophisticated temple (with massive guns) that I call “my body,” has since adapted to this dilemma. I now have sweat glands on my eyeballs, my toe nails and possibly even my asshole.

Ah, what a fun filled stay I’ve had so far. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow might bring!

Hold on…. 

Is that rust coming out of the faucet….?!?!?!

Ohhh fu*k me!™…

Less than 24 hours into my Asian Invasion and I’m already puking my guts out. How did I end up here, next to my brother’s red rice rocket’s right rear wheel tire (say that five times fast)… standing over a puddle of my own puke? Let’s try and retrace my steps shall we…

Leaving San Diego wasn’t an easy decision. The sun, the surf and the tanned beach bodies were all weighing me down and telling me that leaving is a bad idea. Nevertheless, I stowed away my surfboards, locked up my Camaro and went “leaving on a jet plane.”

I arrived sometime past midnight. I was immediately hit by a wall of heat and humidity that came out of nowhere. To the window, to the wall, ’til the sweat drops down my…. forehead… I could feel my sweat glands in overdrive already, and I just stepped off the plane. 

It was already about 2am by the time I got home. I spent the rest of the night catching up with my siblings. My sister was really excited to see me. It was her birthday the week before and she decided to move her birthday party a week late so that I could come join her and meet her friends that week. 

Fast forward half a day later and I find myself with my buddies, Jody and Jackson, who take me to their new favorite, authentic Filipino restaurant: Hooters. Now please forgive my friends, you see, Hooters just opened their very first branch in Manila a few weeks before my arrival. There’s something about that place that just keeps these guys coming back. I’m not sure if it’s the friendly family atmosphere, the great tasting food or the amazing service. Then again, it’s probably the BIG, LUSCIOUS… wings… they serve there. 

0.05 seconds upon arrival, my friends don’t hesitate to order up some alcohol. “Three pitchers!” says my friend Jackson.

“What the hell you get three pitchers for?” I squealingly ask.

“One each!” proclaimed Jackson. 

I do my best to try and convince my friends that despite my crazy facebook pictures and my flamboyant over exaggerations, that I’m actually a lightweight and can’t drink that much. The words “PUSSY” and “LAME” suddenly became an important adjective to describe my actions of trying not to drink. 

Alas, I am only a man, and peer pressure is a bitch! 

Six pitchers later, my other good friends arrive. Again, peer pressure lurked its way down to my side…. just like my uncle did when I was in 2^nd grade…. 

“What? Americans can’t drink?!!??!?” screamed Mark.

“Well technically I’m Asian…. I don’t think my passport has anything to do with my drinking ability… or lack thereof…” I pleaded.

“Pussy!” said Chinky.

“OK OK OK!” I sighed, “I’ll drink if Malou drinks!” 

An awkward pause and a silence like I’ve never heard prevailed over the table for a few seconds. My friends stared at me as if I had signed my own death warrant, and that I did. 

“Dude, you challenged the wrong person.” whispered Oliver. 

Malou took two Jager Bombs without even flinching. Of course, to add more alcohol to it, instead of dropping Jager into Redbull, she decides to drop it into a glass of beer… how considerate of her… Of course, I had to do the same. The rest of the time we’re at Hooters was a blur to me. 

Next thing I know, my dinner tells me that it wants to get some fresh air… I’m about to puke. 

I’m in the front seat of Jody’s car and I barely muster the coordination to open Jody’s door. To my luck, there is a cop in a motorcycle passing right by me, and I ALMOST HIT HIM as I violently swing the car door open!

 The officer swerves and barely misses the random opening door on the road. Of course I’m oblivious to this as I’m just puking my guts out the side. Jody later on tells me that the cop turns his lights and siren on, stops right in front of the car, looks at me puking, shakes his head in utter rage, and just leaves…. Thank god I’m in the Philippines! 

We barely make it to my place and again, I’m puking next to the right rear wheel tire of my brother’s red rice rocket. Standing over a puddle of my own puke, it hits me! 

My sister’s birthday party….!!!!! 

“Guuyyyyyssss…. Meeee is need to gooooingg now toooo sistaaa parteeeee….” I drunkenly slur. 

I tried to walk, I tried to get going, but I could barely stand up straight without having to puke again. So I end up calling my sister and giving the worst drunken apology in the world…. 

“Iiiiiiiiiiammmmmmmmsooooooooooosssssoooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy?” I try to say in an understandable dialect. 

I felt like the worst brother in the world. I felt so bad that I had to puke…. or maybe that was just the Jager again. 

Anyway, I end up apologizing multiple times the next day and promising my sister a full on shopping spree which for some reason, made everything better. In the end, it’s the lesson that really counts. I learned that you should never, under any circumstances, fall victim to peer pressure, unless of course, you’re with your peers.

 Oh and never challenge Malou again!!!  

If a picture paints a thousand words… then why am I speecheless when I look at these…

I am now a FIRM believer that everyone must visit New Zealand at least once before you kick the bucket. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This beautiful country hosts only 4 million people. I literally saw more sheep there than I did people. Some of those sheep were hot though…. *wink*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The greatest thing about NZ is nature; untouched, unhampered, pure nature. Everywhere you go is some sort of national park or protected land. The people of New Zealand care more about nature than anywhere else I’ve been in the world. Proof of this is in the roads. NZ roads are very dangerous because they are all narrow and bendy. They twist and turn and go all around because they were built specifically to avoid disrupting the natural grounds. Instead of drilling a tunnel through a mountain, they would build roads that go up, down, around and everywhere else to ensure minimal tampering with the natural environments. Moreover, most of its roads, including freeways (or what they call motorways) only have one lane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can tell that people here love nature because of the constant areas you can stop along the road where there’ll be a view of the mountains, lakes, rivers or any part of nature. Many of these stops would also have some type information as to the significance of these landmarks. Even better, there will be trails that you can explore and see even more breathtaking sights. The trails will also be marked with the length of time it takes to return to your starting point.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pictures I took, BEAUTIFUL as they may be, do not even come close to doing justice to how beautiful it really is if you were actually there. Every body of water is so clear that you could see the bottom of them. Also, the water is really really blue because of a microscopic mineral from the glaciers that gets mixed in with the rivers, lakes and streams when these glaciers melt. Just adding that little bit more of magic to enhance your stay in NZ. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Zealand, in one word, is “magical.” If you love the outdoors, you NEED to visit this place! 

This is my first visit to New Zealand but definitely not the last. Besides, there’s this one sheep that really caught my eye…. 

 

 
“It looked like there were two skies one on top of the other…I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It was so beautiful.” — Forest Gump