damn monkeys

Two weeks ago, a superior officer to myself assigned me the task of “Operation Homework.” It is a vital piece of the main mission objective for “Operation Graduation.” I was given this task at exactly 1600 Pacific Time two weeks ago from today and its completion is expected by tomorrow. Two minutes ago, I started my task.

Whether it’s talking like I’m in the military or hitting the “refresh” button on my Facebook page 10 times per second, there’s always something that distracts me from what I really need to be doing. I should be doing homework, but instead, I’m watching videos of babies giving the evil eye or looking for anime porn (the artistry of this truly astonishes me). Finally, when it’s time for me to actually check my Facebook account and leave funny messages to keep in touch with old friends, I get distracted from that too and end up folding my socks! I swear, whatever it is I absolutely need to be doing, it’s not getting done!

I blame the monkeys for this! The damn monkeys in my closet that taunt me and haunt my dreams. The damn monkeys that call me at three in the morning asking if I know of any cool after parties. The damn monkeys that draw my eyes to different places when I should actually be focused on my freaking homework! The damn monkeys that…. Oh…. hey…. someone just wrote on my wall….. haha, it was Michelle… I miss you too sweety… oh but anyway…. where was I, oh yeah, them damn monkeys!

I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want something done, it has to be of the lowest priority. If I don’t need to do it, well then by-golly, it will get done!

So really professors, you need to stop assigning me homework… maybe taking a different route would suffice better. Maybe try SUGGESTING homework, like one of those: “What do you want to eat? – I don’t know, whatever” types of homework where you go: “What do you want to do for your first IDS180 suggestive homework? – I don’t know, whatever.”

Haha, sorry, just got back. I went skateboarding around the block while contemplating the meaning of life. I’ve realized that life really isn’t that complicated. I think I can absolutely define life and its purpose now in one simple sentence….. Life is really just…. Oh hey!….. someone commented on my picture…… hahahaha oh Chris, you tall funny monkey you…… no I wasn’t that drunk……

So where was I, oh yes, the monkeys, the evil-doers that prevent me from completing my tasks. Every time I seem to get going with my chores, I get a tap from the angel monkey on my right shoulder, asking me to go look up some funny Jesus jokes, followed by a tap by the devil monkey on my left shoulder, asking me to look up some dirty Jesus jokes. You just can’t win.

So now, I’ve decided to take control of myself! I am strong! I am independent! I am going to get a quick snack and then go to the gym. Let me just grab a banana then….. wait….. where did my bananas go?!?!!? Mother@#*$^%#$!!!! Someone took my last banana!!!……………… damn monkeys.

10 ways to know you’re living in a third world country……

http://vinceg.wordpress.com/

10. They sell cigarettes and candies by the piece.

(A whole pack is waaaaaay too expensive for some)

9. You unplug the microwave when not in use to save money on your electric bill.

(That clock is really an unnecessary expense)

8. Braces on your teeth is a high class status symbol.

(It means you are rich enough to afford dental care)

7. Receiving a box of hand-me-down clothes is like finding a pirate’s treasure chest.

(Trash to some is a treasure to others – Oh look! Broken glass in this dumpster, I could use it as a knife)

6. You never, and I mean NEVER, throw away food.

(Mom said there are starving kids in Africa)

5. A college education might land you a job at McDonalds.

(“Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now… now I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I’ll make assistant manager, and that’s when the big bucks start rolling in” – from the movie Coming to America)

4. Tipping your waiter 1% is highly generous.

(I tipped 15% and the waiter came running for me thinking I left my life savings on accident)

3. You start contemplating prostitution as a career because of the horrible economy.

(Hey, I’d fuck me)

2. Having money is like having Jedi mind control powers.

(Cop: “You’re drinking and driving!”

My friend gives the cop some money and is too drunk to say anything else other than: “Nooo, I am nat”

Cop: “Oh my mistake, have a good day”)

1. Minimum wage per month, if you’re lucky enough to find a job, is about $25 – yup 25 U.S. Dollars a month!

(Nuff said)

story of a girl

The big story of Super Bowl Sunday has now been replayed over and over and over again. No I’m not talking about the amazing helmet catch, that thunderous Brady sack, the rise of the second Manning brother, not even the 18 – 1 losing record of the Patriots. I’m talking about the other big story, the story of a girl who found her way.

Kina Grannis, a 22-year-old singer / songwriter, found her claim to fame as she appeared in her own 60-second commercial during Super Bowl Sunday. She won the “Doritos Crash the Super Bowl Challenge” which promised Super Bowl commercial time as well as a record deal with Interscope Records.

Now what’s so amazing about this? Well, aside from the fact that Kina will be my future wife (though she may not know it yet), is that she had done more than just write a song to win this contest. Grannis actually found a way to get more votes online; she was able to Digg out votes. She found a way to succeed.

The singer used some pretty smooth marketing skills to get this win. She captured the hearts and votes of the online community Digg.com. With the use of some viral marketing and a really catchy song, she persuaded this massive community to devote their loyalty to her.

Digg.com is a community-based-news-article-popularity website (now try saying that ten times fast). Digg users post news stories and these articles get promoted to the headline page through a user based ranking system; users “Digg” up articles that they like.

The Web 2.0 phenomena (yes I was able to stay awake when my professor talked about this) suggests that users have more control over the internet than they ever did before. It is now a consumer based platform. It’s consumers selling to other consumers (E-bay), users defining their own worlds (Wikepedia), viewers posting and picking their own amusement (YouTube) and readers posting and picking their own articles (Digg). It’s also communities of people sharing the same interests with no barriers of distance or censorship, and this is where the opportunity lies.

Kina Grannis (she has a beautiful smile too by the way), is a business woman! She’s an entrepreneur, whether she knew it or not. She pulled off some Trump-like business tactic and closed the deal! Grannis wrote a song about Digg that got dug by its enormous community of subscribers. They liked it and they voted for her. Not to mention the fact that this video was also found on YouTube and MySpace which added to her web popularity. Grannis did not merely settle for “hoping that people like her song.” Instead, she used her resources and the power of the web.

So what can we all learn from the girl with the beautiful voice? (Actually, her hair is really beautiful too.) Well I learned that we definitely need to take advantage of our resources. There are many different excuses on why you can or will fail, but you need to find the one way to succeed. There are always different paths we need to take to reach our goals. It may not always be blatantly laid out in front of you, but it’s there. We just need to make sure to keep our eyes open (just like the beautiful open eyes of Kina).

Kina is scheduled to play at the Hotel Café in Los Angeles on Feb. 17^th. I, on the other hand, am waiting for her to play internationally (my restraining warrant only applies in the United States). I love you Kina! We’ll be together soon…

cocky sonofa…..

Overconfidence?

Is there such a thing? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds”
– Albert Einstein.

This quote has played a very big role in my own self esteem and can really be very positive, while being very egotistical and counter-productive at the same time.

I often reflect back to Bill Gates when he decided to drop out of Harvard in order to pursue his dreams. Imagine what his guidance councilor’s reaction to this was? I have so many different scenarios playing in my head, most of which involves the councilor calling Bill F-ing crazy, insane and absolutely idiotic, not necessarily in that order. Bill Gates, and anyone who walks the halls of Harvard, is pretty much guaranteed a six figure income right off the bat. Yet, Bill decided to take the chance, follow his own heart and do his own thing. Today, he is the most financially secure person in the world.

But of course, we have to be realistic. We always hear about the amazing success stories but there are probably 10 failures for every victory. So how can one balance out between having our heads in the clouds but our feet on the ground?

Personally, I’ve always leaned toward taking the chance. Every mistake you make is one that you will learn from. Every mistake you make is one less mistake you will repeat.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one”
–Elbert Hubbard.

Yes this may sound too aggressive and outlandish, and yes it is so much easier said than done, especially when you consider having to invest your life savings into your new widget. But I’m not talking about gambling when the odds are stacked in the favor of the casino, no, not gambling, but taking calculated risks in life. There are ways to plan things out, to stack the odds in your favor.

The best way to point yourself in the right direction is to do EVERYTHING you can to ensure success. There are so many other factors that are out of your hands, and those are meant to be left alone. However, aspects that you can control should be researched, planned, understood, structured, studied, debated, marinated, contemplated, practiced, innovated, re-contemplated and any other buzzword you could think of! Oh, and do come up with a plans A, B, C and D.

So far, you need to have confidence and believe in yourself then do everything you can to head towards the right direction. What’s next? What *now?* (*refer back to first blog post.)

“Now”, you have to listen.

Listening is a virtue. It’s so easily said, so frequently misused and too often forgotten.

Overconfidence only happens, when one forgets to listen. When one tunes out everyone else and only hears what you want to hear. You don’t have to agree or disagree with anyone, but you have to listen.

How do you listen? Well you need to be patient with the people who give you advice, but be careful whose advice you take.

There’s one more really, really important thing I need to tell you, which would pretty much make everything I said make so much more sense… it is the key to balancing your confidence….. it is something that one of my greatest mentors had taught me…. Umm it goes something like….. ummmm….. I can’t really remember it….. ahhhhh I wasn’t really listening….

“now” what?

“NOW,” that’s what you have, that’s what you should focus on and that’s what you should cherish. When push comes to shove, all you have is “now,” and that’s all that really matters…. which is why you really need to be aware of your surroundings and more importantly, yourself.

There is no start, there is no finish, just “now.” just me, this computer, and my thoughts. So what can you and I do with “now?”

One of the first steps towards achieving success is thinking like you cannot fail, thinking that you already are successful. But I’m not just talking about an estranged fantasy. I’m talking about truly believing in yourself. You have to be able to see the greatness in yourself that no one else can see. So “now” the question is, how do you find this self esteem and how to you make good use of it?

Well first of all, you have to realize that success is just another word that can be very different from person to person. What one finds to be successful, may be a complete and utter failure for another. That’s when you need to realize that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You need to take out the trash, the trash inside your head that worries too much about everyone else. The trash that makes you forget that the only thing that matters is “now,” and right “now” you are thinking way too much about what everyone else thinks.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”

So go ahead, clear your mind, close your eyes and continue reading…. no wait… close your eyes after you read…

“Now,” define success for yourself. Is it a big house with that infinity pool? Or perhaps that Bugatti that drives 253 mph? Or is is having quality friends and a tight knit family? Whatever it is, act like you can achieve it! Better yet, act like you already achieved it.

Try this, go to a bar or a club and start celebrating with your friend/s. Sit by the bar and just celebrate. When someone asks you why you are celebrating, tell them you just made your first million (or whatever your dream is). They will definitely ask you why and how. Tell them vaguely that you did it “one step at a time.” Or you can tell them exactly what steps you took to make your first million. After they try to get you to buy them a drink and the crowd diminishes, you’ll realize that what you just said, isn’t really that far fetched. You’ll realize that you only talked about the positive things, about how you made, or will make, your first million. There will be no barriers, no glass ceilings, no obstacles. Just you, here and “now” with your thoughts and dreams.

“Vision without Action is a day dream. Action without Vision is a nightmare.”

After envisioning your dreams, “now” you have to take action. There is no starting or stopping, only doing. So go out there and do something!

From the movie “Peaceful Warrior“:

Where are you?
Here.
What time is it?
Now.
What are you?
This moment.